Observations: Only in Moscow

So having been back in Moscow for a couple of weeks now, I have managed to compile a few choice cuts from what I like to call ‘the lifestyle’ here. Firstly I arrived back in the country at one thirty in the morning and was initially pleased to find my Russian hadn’t deserted me completely over the summer as I made short work of getting a reputable taxi sorted out. Now when I say reputable, I mean a genuine one that has an agent and a desk at the airport. I don’t mean one of the plethora of guys who approach as soon as you enter the arrivals hall, trying to close a deal with you by showing you a folded piece of paper that supposedly suggests that such a person is a properly licensed taxi driver.

Despite my taxi being ‘genuine’, it was still ‘genuinely Russian’ in that it kind of goes without saying that the speedometer in the tiny lada/van hybrid thing didn’t work at all. So there we were, my friendly driver and I hurtling along the road into Moscow, chatting pleasantly about how the weather has been in the last six weeks, at a hundred, two hundred maybe a million miles an hour, who knows? What I do know is that the needle on the speedometer stayed at a consistent zero kph for the entire journey!

However I arrived home to our new flat unscathed and in record time. So the new home and a new beginning in this fast, furious and fabulous city. Just prior to going on holiday three of my dear friends and I decided to move into a new flat together. After what felt like several months of searching for the right place for all of us, we eventually settled on a large flat, located inside one of Joe Stalin’s famous ‘Seven Sisters’.

It was unfortunately completely unfurnished, but after a couple of fairly arduous journeys to ‘Ikea’ in the north of the city we managed to at least get a bed for all of us and a few other essentials. Despite the fact that the ongoing homemaking project is continuing rather slowly, the flat did come complete with a twenty metre balcony/veranda type area, one of only four on the whole structure, an actual bar/pub in the flat itself and a famous landlord. Therefore I still feel that all in all, we’ve fallen on our feet really. The obligatory and forthcoming housewarming party has been delayed by a lack of seating, but when it finally does happen, I’m sure it’ll be some bash.

Enough of the boasting, back to a few more amusing observations from my first two weeks in this utterly bonkers environment. Now being as my holiday was such a healthy one and that training has been going so well, I was determined not to fall into ‘the lifestyle’ in the same way I had last year, particularly the earlier part, the less said about that, the better (It’ll just be known as the ‘lost period’).

So during a recent special event to which I had turned up after training, I was desperately hungry and decided to sit and eat a late dinner with a friend. As I continued to shovel copious amounts of pasta into my face, she pointed over my shoulder and said something in her funky Russian/New Yorker accent like “Check it out. That girl’s had a good evening.” Bless this poor sole, I have no idea who she is, and I’m pretty sure she didn’t have much of a clue either, but she remained motionless in this position for quite some time and the photo opportunity was just too hard to resist. Whoever you are, you’re a star, please don’t sue me.

And finally surely only in Moscow would you find this; the kind of man who could only be described as a ‘douche bag’ and would think that to wear something as vulgar as this jumper makes him look cool. And so ladies and gentlemen of this weird and wonderful city I’ll just say in a kind of ‘Ron Bergundy’ way; stay classy, and for the two individuals discovered this time, just please to try to do so.

Today's Inspiration

"A certain swordsman in his declining years said the following:
In one's life, there are levels in the pursuit of study. In the lowest level, a person studies but nothing comes of it, and he feels that both he and others are unskillful. At this point he is worthless. In the middle level he is still useless but is aware of his own insufficiencies and can also see the insufficiencies of others. In a higher level he has pride concerning his own ability, rejoices in praise from others and laments the lack of ability in his fellows. This man has worth. In the highest level a man has the look of knowing nothing.
These are the levels in general. But there is one transcending level, and this is the most excellent of all. This person is aware of the endlessness of entering deeply into a certain 'Way' and never thinks of himself as having finished. He truly knows his own insufficiencies and never in his whole life thinks that he has succeeded. He has no thoughts of pride but with self-abasement knows the 'Way' to the end. It is said that Master Yagyu once remarked, "I do not know the way to defeat others, but the way to defeat myself."
Throughout your life advance daily, becoming more skillful than yesterday, more skillful than today. This is never ending."
- Today's inspiration was brought to by Yamamoto Tsunetomo translated by William Scott Wilson in 'Hagakure: The Book of the Samurai.

Roller-coasters, Rash guards and Riots

Good morning campers, yes the Cap is back. I probably could be considered the worst ‘blogger’ of all time, as it’s pretty much a year since my last entry. Well I have no real excuse, except to say, that as the title suggests, the year has been quite a ride, full of highs and lows.

So let’s begin anew with a brief summary of my recent holiday at home with friends and family. I’d just like to say a big thank you to all those who helped make the last six weeks or so, a truly fabulous time. Touring England and Wales and training with old teachers and old friends was very much the personal highlight for me.

To the guys in my childhood home of Kernow (Cornwall), I really enjoyed my time with you, keep blasting and I wish you all the best for the future. Thanks to Raphael Dos Santos for the guard passing master class. Big thanks to ‘Stormin’ Norman for all the driving as well as the rolling.

Then it was onto Plymouth, Devon – thanks to all the guys there for a very tough workout in what is probably the hottest fan assisted BJJ/MMA oven in the country! Thank you specifically to Tom Barlow for tightening up my leg attacks at his great seminar; these pointers will be particularly useful in dealing with the Russian Sambo players. And good luck to Tom at the forthcoming ADCC event in Nottingham.

Next was a stop in my previously adopted city of Cardiff, Wales for some Filipino martial arts with my old students, Mark ‘Swing-gate’ Springate and Neil ‘the real deal’ Salmoni before being on the receiving end of a good old ass whoopin’ from my bad old friend Rob Taylor.

This was all followed by a northerly trip to Stoke-On-Trent to the Impact Academy, where it was great to see plenty of old faces as well as some new ones, but most of all to see mentor and massive martial arts inspiration, Sifu Dave Carnell once again.

After revisa-ing (look I’ve just made up a word) in London, it was back to sunny Cardiff for another great session with the friendliest and most welcoming guys in the UK BJJ scene and a complete and utter schooling from the legend that is Chris Rees. Thank you to all my martial arts brethren who pushed me and put me back in good shape to make fresh waves in Russia.

Alongside the martial arts there were some great runs and other conditioning sessions both alone and with my oldest and best of friends. And the annual fell running session in the beautiful Brecon Beacons in south Wales is still one of the most therapeutic ways I know of clearing the mind.

And so it’s back to Moscow for another roller-coaster year, there are many things I’ll miss from home including: good old British television (just for the fact that I can understand it… At least most of it anyway – I still haven’t worked out the point of Jeremy Kyle’s existence yet). Salt and vinegar ‘Real McCoys’, actually salt and vinegar crisps in general, being able to drink water directly from the tap, driving a car, seedless grapes, custard creams, fresh unpolluted air, but most of all the friends and family that make my home exactly that, home.

However there are some things that won’t be missed: firstly British television; this time I’m thinking of programming that includes things like Big Brother, X-Factor, the aforementioned Mr. Kyle, and nothing had me more disgusted by my home society than the infamous Geordie Shore – seriously people I’m a notorious idiot, but even I know when and where some lines should be drawn.

However the rioting in parts of London, Birmingham and elsewhere were perhaps the most disturbing sign of a deeper social problem that is possibly only in its infancy. I can’t imagine what my friends from other parts of the world were thinking as they watched the nasty business unfold on the news.

In conclusion, goodbye my fair green country, you are still a wonderful land but please be careful, it seems things are starting to go slightly amiss. I’m left, sitting, enjoying a cup of tea in the departures lounge at Heathrow in anticipation of my imminent return to Moscow.

So then Russia, what have you got for me this time?